


How to be a human: a primer by one ethereal and one occult being

by Rioghna



Category: Good Omens (TV)
Genre: Aziraphale Loves Crowley (Good Omens), Crowley Loves Aziraphale (Good Omens), Gabriel is a dick, God has a sense of humour, Learning to be Human, M/M, New Relationship, Protective Aziraphale (Good Omens), Protective Crowley (Good Omens)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-06
Updated: 2020-07-04
Packaged: 2021-03-02 17:40:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 15,997
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24030715
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rioghna/pseuds/Rioghna
Summary: The apocalypse has fizzled and  Crowley and Aziraphale are learning how to get on in a relationship, when a former angel turns up on the doorstep, one angel and one demon have to teach him to understand humanity so that he can return to heaven (and get out of their hair).
Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Comments: 57
Kudos: 105





	1. Chapter 1

It had been two weeks since the almost end of the world. Not much had changed, either. Well, one thing, Crowley and Aziraphale had stopped hiding their...association. Not that they had ever really hidden, but they had stopped worrying about being seen in out of the way restaurants, or going to the shop during the day (the Bentley was hardly inconspicuous), and the only time they met in the park was for a walk on the way to dinner. Neither of them had heard from their respective offices, except a brief note for the angel, a small miracle that needed to be performed (‘nothing really, I can just take the bus, it’s only out to Houndslow’). Crowley was pretty sure that after his partner’s little stunt, they were mostly trying to pretend he didn’t exist.

So it was something of a shock when the shop door opened midmorning on a sunny day and the Archangel Gabriel stepped in. But this was not Gabriel as Aziraphale had last seen him. This was a completely different angel. He was looking uncertain, and if Aziraphale hadn’t know better, afraid, as if he was uncomfortable in his own skin. That was definitely _not_ Gabriel. For a moment he spared a thought for Crowley asleep upstairs in their bed. _Their_ bed, he thought pleasantly for a moment. It was good to be able to think about his demon that way, without worry. But at the moment, he rather hoped that Crowley was still asleep. He had been (understandably, Aziraphale thought, but he felt the same way about their opposite number) upset at what they had tried to do to him.

“Gabriel,” he addressed the archangel. _He_ was feeling distinctly cold towards him for the way he’d been treated (well, Crawley, but still) and that they had conspired to end both of them.

“Aziraphale, I...I need your help.”

The angel looked at him, stunned. “You...what?”

“And why do you think he will do? What reason have you given him to do anything for you?” Crowley asked from where he’d appeared on the stairs, looking a little rumpled, as if he’d dressed in a hurry.

Gabriel started to do something, but then his shoulders slumped. “No reason, none at all. I just...I didn’t know where else to go.”

The demon finished descending the stairs and walked towards Aziraphale, standing almost protectively in front of him. “Something’s happened to you,” Crowley said, flicking his tongue just a bit. “Ah...the Almighty not pleased with your little attempt at angelic Barbecue, hmmm?”

“I might have overstepped my au...” he began pompously, but the look on the demon’s face was enough. “Something like that. I’ve been...reprimanded. I...”

“You’ve been cast out,” Crowley said. “I can smell it, or rather, I can’t. You’re...”

“Human,” he confirmed. “Or at least close to, I think. I’m supposed to live as a human until...I’m not sure, actually. I don’t know what to do. I’ve never spent more than a few hours on earth at a time in all of history. I don’t know how to do this.” It was clear the angel was desperate, and Crowley for one intended to enjoy it a little before they gave in. And he knew they would give in. Aziraphale was entirely too kind and forgiving, but that was his nature, it was one of the defining characteristics of angels, or it was supposed to be, and the demon would take him, faults and all. To his way of thinking, Aziraphale was a better angel than his fellows. But Crowley wasn’t going to make it easy. He slid an arm around his angel, just to watch Gabriel twitch.

Aziraphale gave him a look, the one that clearly said ‘behave’. Then he turned to his former superior. “What is it you want from us?” he asked in that stern tone he took when someone bent the cover of one of the shop books. The angel was getting some of his own back. Crowley was proud.

“From that one, nothing,” Gabriel said sharply. “Can we speak alone?’ The demon looked like he was going to object, but Aziraphale waved him aside and spoke quietly for a moment. Crowley nodded.

“I’ll not be far though,’ he warned, making sure he was heard before he slipped back upstairs. “If I were you, though, I’d start with an apology.”

“I don’t take advice from...” Gabriel started, but stopped as they both looked at him. “I...I’m sorry I tried to have you destroyed.” He said it as if it were poisoned. “I was doing what I thought I...”

“Yes, and how’d that work out for you, hmm? I’ll just be upstairs,” the demon said.

“All right, just let me put the kettle on and you can tell me what it is you expect me to do. I guess you’d best come and have some tea and we can figure it out,” Aziraphale said, waving him back further into the dusty interior of the shop.

“What’s that for?” Gabriel asked, following the angel into the back room, where he pressed the switch on the kettle. He waved Gabriel to a chair and busied himself with the tea things.

“It’s tea, of course. You drink it. It aids conversation.” He bustled around gathering cups, spoons, sugar, and milk, using the busywork to conceal his own confusion. “Now, what is it that you are asking? Sugar?” he asked.

“I don’t sully...”

“Well, you are just going to have to learn,” he said impatiently. “You don’t have a choice, you know. You are human, you are going to have to learn to eat and drink, among other things. Without..well, otherwise you’re not going to last long before you discorporate yourself and in your current condition, I have no idea what would happen.” The kettle whistled and he poured the tea and set it down on the table.

Gabriel looked at it. The other angel spent a few moments getting everything settled, and then waited. “You put milk and sugar in it,” he explained helpfully, demonstrating with his own cup.

He copied the motion, then lifted it and took a sip. He looked into the cup, then at Aziraphale. “It’s...good, I think.” Clearly he was going to need a lot of work. “So, I’m supposed to drink this?”

“Well it’s that or coffee, but I don’t keep it. I wouldn’t be surprised if people took you for an American, though, they drink coffee. That could be helpful actually,” he mused.

“How so?”

“Well, if people look at you funny for doing something, you can say it’s because you’re American. It’s not much, but for now...what happened?” The angel had actually been dying to ask from moment one, but thought it might be rude.

“I...after you left, and Michael returned, telling us what happened with the demon, well, we were not sure what to do. I mean we know _you_ aren’t a demon, and that one is certainly _not_ an angel. Sandelphon was all for getting back here and...”

“I’m sure that I know what he wanted,” Aziraphale sniffed. “Very fond of smiting, that one.”

“Yes, well, he’s a good angel, just...a little enthusiastic. We decided to take some time and...”

“Pretend it never happened?” Aziraphale suggested.

“No, just...we went on as usual, or tried to. Then suddenly the Lord was asking what we had done, and I started to explain but...well, the next thing I know, I was being told I had things to learn, and I would have to learn them here,” he spat the last word as if he were talking about being sent to the Pit.

“Yes, well, you will pardon me if I agree. The way I see it,” he told Gabriel after a moment to consider. “You are really no different than the ones below. You just don’t understand humans.” _It was interesting though,_ he thought.

_When he and Crowley had finished their lunch that day, they had discussed what happened. “See, I think you were right,” the demon expounded after a couple glasses of champagne. “That was all part of the overall divine, en bloody effable plan. You and I were right, even though we didn’t know it at the time. Think about it. The Almighty wouldn’t have been fooled by our little trick, which means that she didn’t want to do anything about it. Maybe it was them she was testing, see if they had learned anything. You and I, we’ve been out of it for a long time.”  
_

Now, Aziraphale was suspecting the demon was more right than he knew.

“I don’t want to understand them. I just want to do whatever I need to do to get back home,” Gabriel growled.

“Well, that’s a bit of a problem then, since I believe understanding them _is_ what you need to do to get back home,” Aziraphale told him sharply. He leaned back and sipped his tea, waiting for Gabriel to come to grips with both the revelation and his new reality. “At least that’s all I can think of. I suppose you will need help too, though why I should...”

“You’re an angel, and I’m your superior, besides...”

“You branded me a traitor, assaulted me, insulted me, and tried to make me into an angel briquette. I don’t feel like I owe you anything,” Aziraphale replied coldly.

“Superior? I think only one of you is still an angel, so by my calculations, you’ve been demoted. All good then?” Crowley asked. He’d gotten cleaned up and slipped back into the room, resting a hand on his angel’s shoulder. He knew the physical affection was going to upset Gabriel, but he didn’t care, in fact it was a plus. Besides that, he thought Aziraphale might need the comfort. The former angel just glared. He knew he hadn’t a leg to stand on, and worse, he knew they knew too.

“The question is, what to with do with him?” Aziraphale asked rhetorically.

“It’s decided then, you are taking him in?” The angel nodded a little tentatively, not sure how the demon would take it. “All right, but I’m not having him at mine,” Crowley said, as if the other being wasn’t there. They had been going back and forth between their two homes, still getting their bearings, and now this.

“Well, he can’t stay here, not by himself anyway, imagine the damage...I suppose I will have to stay and keep an eye on him.”

“I’m not a...” Gabriel started, but stopped as the two beings looked at him.

“We will both stay, Angel,” Crowley said quietly, “I...well, I was going to ask anyway...I suppose it doesn’t matter right now, but...”

‘What?” the angel asked.

‘It’s just the shop, and I mean, I know it’s not exactly your style but... I’ve more than enough room, and...”

“Yes, the answer is yes,” Aziraphale smiled, happier than he’d been all day. “Once we deal with this.” They both looked at Gabriel, who was staring at them suspiciously as though he knew they were planning something he just wasn’t sure what.

“All right. But no more lost angels. Or demons for that matter,” he added. “I’m more than enough. Imagine Hastur showing up...doesn’t bear thinking about.” He shuddered and the angel put a hand on his shoulder before they turned to face Gabriel, together.

“Very well, Gabriel,” Aziraphale said. “I’ll help.”

“I am guessing you have nothing but the clothes on your back either,” Crowley commented.

“What am I supposed to have?”

“Lovely, not so much as a bus pass either,” the demon growled. “Don’t suppose I could convince you to drop him at Traveler’s Aid? I could drive him out to Heathrow and we could tell them he’s a lost tourist?” The angel shook his head. “In that case, I’ll pop out and get something for breakfast. It’s going to be a long day.”

“I suppose we are going to have to get him some clothes,” Aziraphale said as he moved around the tiny kitchen, laying out the morning meal. Well, morning was relative, it was probably closer to midday, but they hadn’t eaten yet, so breakfast it was.

“Couldn’t you just...” Gabriel began, waving a hand.

“I could, yes, but not knowing how long you are going to be in this...condition, at some point you are going to have to live in the world and that means learning how to do things properly. I don’t think you hiding out here is what the Almighty had planned,” he sniffed. “Besides, wouldn’t want me to perform any frivolous miracles, now would we?” Crowley hid a smile.

“I would have thought you would be in a big hurry to be out of this ‘den of iniquity’,” Crowley commented, falling gracefully into one of the chairs.

“Why does _he_ have to be here?” the former angel asked.

“Because unlike you, I’m...”

“Enough,” Aziraphale said sharply. “We will take care of it after we’ve eaten.” He started putting food on plates and setting them on the table.

“You know I love it when you...” Crowley started with a leer, but subsided with good grace at a glance from his lover.

Gabriel glared at the demon, then looked at the plate. “What’s that?” he asked.

“It’s a sausage. You can put that on it if you like,” the angel pointed a fork at the HP bottle.

The demon, who was leaning back, somehow managing to lounge in a straight backed kitchen chair, speared a sausage with his fork. “Where do you want to take him?” he asked. “He’s hardly Saville Row or even Carnaby Street back in the day, more like the discounts section of Selfridge’s.”

“You know I’m not really sure. I certainly can’t take him to my tailor.”

“Nor I. Harrod’s?”

“You don’t have a tailor anymore, do you? And you know I loathe that place. Surely we can find something in one of the smaller shops down that way?” Crowley shrugged noncommittally and speared another sausage. He, like Aziraphale, loathed large shopping malls. He also didn’t trust Gabriel one little bit, especially with his angel. “Perhaps we can have tea afterward.”

“Expecting it to be a long one then,” Crowley muttered under his breath.


	2. Shopping

After breakfast, and after Aziraphale had insisted on doing the washing up first (by hand, just so the other angel would get the idea), and cleaned up, they were ready to go. ‘Why is he coming with us?” Gabriel asked, looking at the demon distastefully.

“Because I don’t trust the person who tried to roast someone I care about for a start,” he shot back.

“And the car,” Aziraphale added.

“The what?”

“Oh, not my _car_ ,” Crowley groaned. “Hasn’t the poor thing been through enough?”

“Can you imagine taking him ‘round on the Underground, or the bus? Besides, he needs to get used to them.”

Crowley started to protest, but stopped. He looked at his angel. Something was definitely up. He wasn’t exactly keen on the demon’s driving as a rule. “Have you ever ridden in a car?” he asked Gabriel curiously.

“No, why would I?”

“Good, it will be a new experience. I think he should ride up front, so he can see.” _Ahhh_ , the demon thought. Now he understood.

“I suppose.” He pretended a reluctance that he suddenly didn’t feel. “Well let’s get on with it.”

If you had asked most of Aziraphale’s Soho neighbours, they would have said he was polite, friendly, intelligent, and very English. None of them could remember when he’d come to the neighbourhood (probably because none of them had been born), or how old he was, but then being an Angel had to be good for something. They also assumed he was both gay, and extremely discrete. Though they had seen the Bentley from time to time, coming and going, it was only recently that they had seen (and some, the nosier ones, met) the gentleman it belonged to. A few commented on age difference, hushed by those who knew that the owner had been around a while, and a challenge as to the age of either of the principles. So it was something of a surprise when, on that Sunday, a third man followed them out.

“Nice day, eh, Mr. Fell?” one of his more outgoing fellow shop owners called with a smile.

“Yes, isn’t it?” the angel commented. He was hoping to avoid conversation, but he also knew his neighbour was a nosy parker.

“Got company then, I see,” the man commented.

“Yes, er...”

“Cousin, visiting from America,” Crowley grumbled, extemporising effortlessly. It was easy to see it was not a welcomed guest. “Car’s over there.” He pointed to where the Bentley sat.

“Good luck,” the man whispered as the demon passed. “Missus’ Mum came for two days, stayed three bloody weeks.”

“Doesn’t bear thinking about.”

“Now Gabriel, I’ll get in the back. You should ride up front and see the sights,” Aziraphale said with a smile.

The big car lurched to a halt in a quasi legal parking spot and the passenger door flew open. “Outside my car, you,” Crowley growled.

“What...” The former angel fell out, making retching noises. “What’s happening? I’m not...”

“You’re not dying if that’s what you’re worried about. I don’t have that kind of luck. Just garden variety carsick. You can fly, don’t see why...”

“You did that deliberately,” Gabriel accused.

“No, he always drives like that, now hadn’t we best get on?” Aziraphale interrupted them. Crowley said nothing. He realised that this was far harder on the angel than he was letting on.

Shopping was almost exactly as excruciating an exercise as the demon expected. For the most part, he just stayed out of the way, only commenting on either of their fashion excesses. He had also managed to avoid the discussion of certain forms of clothing that he was entirely certain the former angel had never considered. Gabriel’s choices in pants and pyjamas were no place he even wanted to think about, not on a full stomach anyway.

What Crowley really wanted was to take his angel back to the flat, the place they had spent their first night together after the almost end of the world, drinking and planning their next move between bouts of lovemaking, something that he’d never thought he would experience (or want to for that matter, after all, he _was_ a demon). But the two of them had made a kind of peace with what they had and now this not exactly fallen angel was disrupting it just when they were settling down. Aziraphale was maintaining his calm and his patience, but privately Crowley could see the strain and he was determined to protect his angel, no matter what.

He thought about taking him to the flat, stripping him bare, and then working out all the kinks in his...

“I suppose I have to get back in that thing?” Gabriel’s voice caused the daydream to pop like a soap bubble.

“No, you have another choice,” Crowley hissed softly.

“What?”

“We can leave you to make your own way back to the shop.”

“You...”

“Stop it, both of you,” Aziraphale snapped. Crowley went to his side immediately, and laid a hand on his arm, an unspoken apology that he would not voice in front of the other being. Gabriel opened his mouth, clearly trying to decide whether to defend his actions or say something else, but looking at the demon, he shut his mouth with a click and got back into the car.

“You get him settled, I’m going for a bit,” Crowley said when they arrived back at the shop. Gabriel was a pale white this time, a change from his earlier green, but he got out of the car quickly.

“Gabriel, take those things upstairs,’ Aziraphale said. He looked troubled. “Is everything...I mean...”

“It’s fine, Angel. I’m just going back to the flat to pick up a few things and water the plants. Won’t be more than an hour. Did you honestly think I would leave you alone for long with the maniac that tried to kill you?” he asked.

“No, but...”

“We’re fine, Angel. I just need a little bit.” His look begged the angel to understand, and Aziraphale did. It was another defining characteristic of angels. It wasn’t easy to be around Gabriel with his condescending manner and holier than thou attitude, not for either of them, come to that. Then the demon did something unexpected. He kissed the angel, right out in the middle of the street. Aziraphale was shocked for a moment, then, well, he was pleased. As a rule, he wasn’t sure about public affection, but at this moment it felt like a declaration.

“I’ll be back before you know it,” Crowley said, as he got back into the car and left.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the comments and the kudos. This is a bit of a short one, but I promise, it makes sense with the story.


	3. Explanations of the ethereal kind (and how to avoid them)

After Aziraphale supervised Gabriel’s settling into the guest room, (which had been a storage room until his former superior landed on his doorstep), and explained enough about the functions of various things about the flat that he could worry less about accidents, he’d returned to the back room of the shop and was contemplating tea, or possibly scotch.

“So, you and the demon,” Gabriel startled him from his thoughts.

“He has a name, you know,” Aziraphale said irritably.

“Fine, you and Crowley. I mean, what’s...I don’t understand.”

“What is there to understand?”

“You...feel affection for him?”

“I do, yes,” Aziraphale agreed. “And he for me.”

“I’m not sure demons can...but then I’m not sure what it means. Are you sure Angels can...”

“Yes. Maybe it’s just being here on Earth all this time,” he suggested.

“But you let him touch you.” Gabriel said with disgust.

“Yes...” _And a good bit more_ , but he didn’t say that out loud, being almost certain that whatever the other being’s understanding of relationships were, it was none of his business, and if he didn’t know, Aziraphale certainly _wasn’t_ going to be the one to explain it.

“It’s a way of showing that affection. Humans do it.”

“But you aren’t human, neither is he for that matter,” the other being reminded him.

“No, but we have been living among them, learning a thing or two. It feels good, and besides, as the humans say, ‘don’t knock it ‘til you’ve tried it.’” Gabriel was still looking at him with a sort of bemused look he never thought he would see on his former superior’s face. He thought for a moment, trying to find a way to explain. “It’s a bit like...like everything is where it should be.” It wasn’t a very good explanation, but what did the angel know.

“And it feels good?” Gabriel asked. “But he’s a filthy demon...”

“He most certainly _isn’t_ , he takes his grooming very seriously, and after all he was an angel once, you should remember that.” Aziraphale chose to deliberately misunderstand him.

“I was never familiar with any of those,” Gabriel sniffed arrogantly.

“Well, you can take my word for it, he is well groomed. Actually Crowley is considered quite handsome by human standards I believe, though I admit to some prejudice of my own on that point,” he smiled a little. Gabriel was just looking at him, somewhat perplexed.

“I suppose he’s not, I mean he was an angel, but...maybe it is being up here, maybe it makes a difference. He’s not as twisted as some of the others I’ve seen, I’ll give him that,” he said almost to himself. “I don’t understand any of this human stuff. But then, I suppose...angels come in all shapes too. I mean, look at you, you’re...I mean you are not exactly...” His former superior looked him up and down. Suddenly and vividly he remembered the way Gabriel had spoken to him before, implied that he had let himself go. But he wasn’t going to rise to it, he promised himself. Still the thought was there.

“It’s none of _your_ concern, certainly. It’s different. He and I are the only two alike here, and we have been since the beginning as you observed before, it creates a...bond. Besides, it doesn’t matter, it’s none of your business,” he added. “Since you are here, you are just going to have to accept it, or find somewhere else to be.”

“You would turn me out over...”

“I would, yes, and you need to stop antagonising him,” the angel reprimanded him.

“I’m not, and anyway what makes you...”

“Because ‘he’ still has his powers and can squash you like a bug? Just a guess,” Crowley commented from the doorway, winking broadly.

“You wouldn’t.” The demon just looked at him.

It was late. After a pretty uncomfortable evening where Gabriel had asked questions, and Aziraphale tried to answer them honestly while Crowley supplied snark, it was looking like the former angel was running out of steam. Fortunate since the demon had limited patience and wasn’t planning on forgiving Gabriel any time soon, the less time they were forced to interact, on the whole, the better. He had failed to mention all of what the archangel had said while trying to destroy him, nor would he tell Aziraphale, unless the other being brought it up. And while he certainly considered the archangel both stupid and arrogant enough to do it, he was also pretty certain Gabriel wouldn’t antagonise the only person he knew would take him in, counting on Aziraphale’s essentially good nature. Finally though, Gabriel began to yawn, and they suggested it was time to turn in. “I’ll just finish up here,” Aziraphale said, carrying their glasses to the small kitchen area.

“I’ll meet you upstairs,” Crowley said, still keeping one eye on Gabriel as he followed. At the top, he caught the former archangel in the door of the room he’d been given. “Just so you know, I meant exactly what I said earlier.”

“What...”.

“You know,” he said quietly. “I won’t do anything to you, _yet_. But if I catch even a hint that you are trying to hurt him...” The warning was clear in the yellow eyes that glared at him.

“What makes you think...” Gabriel began indignantly.

The demon just continued to glare at him. “Just remember what I said. I am _not_ an angel anymore, and I don’t have to be nice to the likes of _you_.” Then he turned and went into the door on the other side.

When Aziraphale came up, the door to the room Gabriel was in was open, so he called a good night.

“Aziraphale,” he called. “I know you said I need to sleep, and that’s what all this is about. But neither of you do. Why...”

“You get used to it, occasionally. Relaxes the mind, like alcohol, or meditation, or music. Besides, we aren’t necessarily going to sleep. Have a good night, Gabriel. Tomorrow we will have to figure out what to do with you.” Then he opened the door. Crowley was already in the room, laying on the bed, wearing a dressing gown and a suggestive smile. The angel closed the door behind him.

He let out a deep sigh and went to sit on the side of the bed and remove his shoes. He felt rather than saw the arm come up around him, and a soft kiss brushed against his neck. “Come on, the kiddie is in bed, now the adults can have some private time.” Aziraphale was quiet though. The demon kissed him again. “What is it, Angel?” He slid closer.

“Are you sure...about this?” Aziraphale asked softly. It had been weighing on him since Gabriel said it. Maybe he was, he was no longer the perfect figure of an angel he had been, though the demon didn’t seem to care.

“About what,” he asked vaguely, starting to undo the angel’s tie, something that had never failed to distract him before. Crowley had plans, and those plans involved taking the other being’s mind off everything, including and especially the unwanted guest in the other room. “If you are concerned about him...”

“No, it’s just...well, you and I, I’m not exactly...” he stopped, waving a hand at himself vaguely. “Not exactly a ...” He wasn’t sure entirely where he was going, or why he was suddenly feeling self conscious, it certainly wasn’t a natural feeling for him. But for some reason Gabriel’s words had been weighing on him all night.

“What? Where is this coming from?” Of course it didn't take much of a guess. “That... I’ll have him,” he hissed, slipping around. “What did he say?” This was not the ending the demon had planned, but he could easily modify his original thoughts to include solving for their ‘guest’ problem and then returning to his much more pleasant plan.

“Nothing, not...it’s just we...” the angel said.

“If it causes you to doubt yourself, to doubt us, after as long as we’ve known each other, then it is NOT nothing,” Crowley growled, starting to get out of the bed.

“No, really, I...I’m just...” He put a hand on his lover’s arm. “I suppose I just... It’s not...It was something he said. He’s always thought I was a bit soft.”

“Well, we certainly don’t fit into his worldview, I mean, angel, demon, I’m sure it offends his sense of propriety, or something, and that’s assuming he even understands what it is we have together. But that doesn’t matter, Angel, nothing does. Remember, we are on our own side now, no one else can say.”

“Are you sure you wouldn’t prefer me...” He waved vaguely in the direction of the other room.

“More like him?” the demon asked incredulously. “Not at all, perish the thought.” He paused choosing his words carefully. It wasn’t as if he had a lot of practice at this sort of thing. “Aziraphale, I’m not sure how to say it any plainer. You are exactly what I want, as you are and if you have any doubts about that, I will happily show you.” Crowley pressed a kiss against the side of his neck and tugged off the bow tie. “Let me remind you who it is that actually cares for you.” With that he turned the angel to face him for a long kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to those of you reading. Remember that comments, suggestions and kudos keep the muse going. As always thanks to my sister for her beta and odd questions.


	4. Basics of humanity

It was some time later when the demon finally slipped from the room. Aziraphale was sleeping the sleep of the completely content (and exhausted, the demon had seen to that). Crowley had taken great pains to express himself and his appreciation and desire for the angel, to counteract any negative influences of the obnoxious winged, well, no longer winged, annoyance. Now he was considering what to do. What he was not going to do was allow the creature to disrupt his newfound happiness or Aziraphale’s. They had waited too long, wasted too much time, though why, he wasn’t entirely sure, at least on his part.

_  
They had been lying in the bed in the room above the bookshop when they discussed it. The first few days after the world failed to end had been a dizzying whirl of making up for several dozen centuries of feelings they had been denying, enjoying themselves, and discussing what came next, though on that one, neither had a clue._

_“How could you not have known?” Crowley had asked, brushing a damp curl back from the angel’s face._

_“Well, you know I was never good with that sort of thing. I never...well, I never felt the urge, except...”_

_“Never? You were never tempted?” the demon asked with his best seductive smile._

_“Not by one of them, no. Only...well, only you,” Aziraphale said softly._

_“Why did you...” but he stopped. He’d really not been much better._

_“At first, I wasn’t sure what to make of it all. I wasn’t used to thinking in terms of...well...I mean it’s not as if we have...” He_ _paused. “Honestly when I started being...”_

 _“I believe they call it gender identity these days,” Crowley added helpfully. “Not sure they are really clear on it either, but_ _then, they get assigned a biological one at birth. Serious design flaw, I always thought.”_

_“Yes, well then I learned more about humans and the things they got up to. It was interesting in an anthropological way, but I thought we weren’t meant for it. It wasn’t as if any of them interested me, and if they had, which I did consider, I wasn’t sure if I wanted to, or if I should.”_

_“Ummm, yes,” the demon said, curling closer. “Though they never paid much attention,” he commented_.

_“Not to you, maybe, it’s different, isn’t it?”_

_“What do you mean?” he asked._

_“Well, it only makes sense. Tempting, seducing, it’s all in the job description, isn’t it?”_

_“Not...well, I’m not sure my side was any clearer on it. After all, we both know that regardless of what the humans believe, the Almighty isn’t much concerned about it. It’s the guilt, the breaking of vows and promises, that’s what gets them.”_

_“I thought you might be trying to tempt me,” Aziraphale admitted._

_“Oh, I was, I mean, I wanted you very badly, but it wasn’t just that. I wanted to be careful, not to ruin...whatever it was we had. You were never just a temptation to me, unless it was for myself.”_

_“Yes, well, different, as I said. Different rules for a start,” the angel said._

_“Oh, I’m not saying I didn’t. I experimented a bit, not as much as I suspect you imagine.” The angel had the grace to blush just a little. “I’m a demon, naturally curious. But while they never said anything, like yours, my people prefer to let the humans do the actual work, just apply the right pressure, the right incentive. We just have more leeway, or maybe fewer restrictions.”_

_“But you did try...”_

_“Jealous, Angel? You’ve no reason,” he’d asked with a smile._

_“Not jealous no, Angels aren’t...well, maybe...”_

_“There’s no need. If you want to know the truth, besides being curious, well, I wasn’t any more sure of what was happening between you and me. I suppose I wanted to know what all the fuss was about. I didn’t want to be missing something. Besides, I wanted to know if the feelings were, well, different.”_

_“And was it, different, I mean?” Aziraphale had asked._

_Crowley thought about his answer very carefully. “It was different, yes. Pleasant enough at the least, enjoyable way to pass time, but it wasn’t what I was feeling when I was with you. After experimenting a while, I came to the conclusion that the difference between merely enjoyable, and...well, something more, was the right partner.”_

_“And have you? Found the right partner, I mean,” the angel’d asked._

_“I think I have. And you? Was it what...”_

_“Oh, I’m pretty certain that I got the partner right on the first go,” the angel told him. “But perhaps...”_

_“Perhaps?” Crowley asked._

_“We should experiment some more? Just to be certain.”_

_“Now that is something I can agree with.”_

The demon shook off those pleasant reminiscences and tried to get back to his problem, what to do with Gabriel. He opened the door carefully to find the former angel sleeping. But he was not sleeping peacefully, he was tossing and turning, clearly experiencing his first nightmare. Of course, angels and demons didn’t have nightmares, they didn’t actually sleep except for those who had been on earth a long time, and that would number exactly two. Crowley, the much more talented and studied sleeper, certainly didn’t dream, unless daydreams counted.

For a moment he considered whether it would be better to wake him up to torment him, or leave his own mind to do the dirty work. Of course, curiosity, as he had told Aziraphale, was a defining characteristic of demons, so he couldn’t resist taking a quick peek. He wasn’t sure it would work, honestly. He wasn’t entirely sure what Gabriel was now. That he was no longer an angel was clear enough, but was he actually human? He felt human, from what Crowley could tell, but would the Almighty really demote one of her most loyal and trusted...mind, he had always wondered, after all, he and Aziraphale had made out pretty well, all things considered. But the speculation wasn’t getting him anywhere.

Instead, he reached out very carefully, not sure what he would encounter. But there was nothing, no resistance, no barrier, or shielding. He slithered easily into the other being’s dreams, reverting to his favourite earlier form, the easier to hide, if he even could be seen. But Gabriel was certainly beyond noticing even if he could have.

He recognised the place, he’d seen it not too long ago, in fact. Gabriel was bound to the chair that had previously held the demon during his brief impersonation of his favourite angel, and the pillar of hellfire was burning bright. The two angels that had kidnapped him before were there. He recognised Uriel from the old days, but he didn’t know the other one. But now the two of them were taunting Gabriel, saying all manner of horrible things, just the sort of things, in fact, that they had said to him. Gabriel deserved it of course, at least in Crawley’s opinion.

“Michael,” the former angel cried out to his colleague, standing behind the others, not participating but not saying anything either. “Please...” But even as he called out, the archangel turned its back and walked away.

Crowley decided he’d seen enough. He slipped away and out of Gabriel’s head to return to his warm bed, with his own smiling, still sleeping, angel.

Gabriel stumbled down the stairs sometime around mid morning, looking disoriented and as if he hadn’t slept.

“Good morning, did you sleep well?” Aziraphale asked. The two of them had been up for quite a while. Even though they slept more than their kind usually did, it still wasn’t terribly much. They were trying to figure out exactly what they were going to do with Gabriel to get him back _into_ heaven and _out_ of their lives.

“I thought you said sleep was _good_ ,” Gabriel groaned accusatorially.

“It’s meant to be. Helps humans rest and...what do they...”

“Process?” Crowley hazarded.

“Yes, process what has happened to them,” the angel said. “Why? Was your sleep interrupted?” He looked just a little suspiciously at the demon. Crowley looked innocent, or as innocent as he could, but that meant nothing. “I do hope the bed was comfortable.”

“It wasn’t that, it was these things...in my head. Like the visions we used to give...”

“Things?” the angel asked. Crowley hid his smile behind his tea cup. “You mean...”

“I mean things that couldn’t happen or that didn’t or...”

“Dreams?” Aziraphale asked

“No, I thought dreams were supposed to be pleasant, kind of like visions of heaven,” Gabriel said. “Didn’t...oh, I can’t think of the name, fell with Lucifer...I thought, I mean I was told they were meant to be nice.”

“Well some are, but there are those others, the nightmares...”

“Think those were Samael’s idea,” Crowley put in. “Remember him saying something about humans needing lessons, keeping them on the...something.”

“Samael has always been a bit...well, he never had much of a sense of humour,” Aziraphale commented.

“Not really surprising, close to Azrael,” Crowley commented. “At least back before...”

“Still is,” Gabriel added, contributing for once without condescension. “Those two have always been a little...”. The other two beings nodded in agreement. For a moment, they were quiet, an almost companionable silence, contemplating a time, when they had all been together as one, a time before the fall.

“So, nightmares are what I was having?” Gabriel disturbed the silence. “Why?”

“On that, I’m afraid I cannot help you. Not sure the humans understand it themselves, and we don’t have them, even when we do sleep. I think it’s to do with worry, or fear, or stress, or...”

“Guilt?” Crowley suggested

“What have I got to feel guilty about?” the former angel demanded, but after a moment, he had the good grace to look a little embarrassed.

“Perhaps you could read up on it? I’m sure there is a book around here somewhere. I need to open the shop some today, I’m expecting a few new additions.”

“I’ve got to go out for a bit, see to a few things myself,” Crowley said. “But I won’t be gone long.” The last was clearly meant as a warning to Gabriel. He wanted to make sure that the other being was instilled with a healthy fear of Crowley.

“Was it you?” Aziraphale asked. The two of them were in the front of the shop, while Gabriel had been settled in the back with half a dozen books to ‘learn something about the human condition’. The demon did not even pretend not to know what he was asking about.

“No. Do you not trust me, even now?” he asked. There was something like hurt in his eyes.

“I _do_ trust you. If you say you didn’t, I believe you. But I also trust that you would do what you felt necessary to protect me and I’m...well...” the angel wasn’t exactly sure what to say.

“I was planning on doing something, just to straighten him out,” Crowley admitted. “But he was already busy doing it to himself.” The angel smiled just a little.

“I don’t suppose you happened to...”

“Peek? You know me, Angel.”

“Guilt,” Aziraphale said, as awareness dawned.

“Exactly.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So a little more to the story. Please remember, kudos and comments feed the muse.


	5. Healthy Exercise.

“Why don’t you go for a run? We could walk over to the park and then...” Aziraphale asked. It was the third time in the last ten minutes that the former Archangel had shifted himself, noisily, at the table. It was like having a child around, except that the only child he had spent extensive time with was Warlock, who loved a good book (as long as his friends didn’t know). Clearly reading about humanity was not the easy solution he had thought it would be. Maybe some exercise then, after all, Gabriel had been so very proud of his corporation’s shape before.

“A run?’ Gabriel asked. “Like when I met you in the park?”

“Exactly. Humans are very fond of it. I thought that was why...”

“Oh, I had just seen the humans doing it and thought it would make me inconspicuous. I suppose it wasn’t unpleasant. It’s not like I can fly right now.” Aziraphale took a moment to consider whether Gabriel had done it more as a way of showing his celestial superiority than anything else, but it would give him something to do, maybe burn of some of his extra energy.

“Come then, I will take care of everything.” He snapped his fingers and Gabriel’s clothes changed.

“I thought you were going to do things the human way?” he asked, looking down.

“In general, but I hadn’t considered everything. There will have to be some adjustments. If you enjoy it, we will take care of it the regular way. Now, I will just leave a note for Crowley to meet us and we can be off.” His smile was a bit tight and he was saying an internal prayer of thanks to Her for the beautiful weather that allowed them to get out of the shop.

Crowley had gone to take care of his plants, and Aziraphale missed him, but coping with Gabriel was causing his demon stress, partially because of the former angel’s attitude, and Crowley was not known for his patience with things he didn’t want to do in the first place. Just explaining the things Gabriel needed to know about his corporation’s care and hygiene had been enough to send the demon fleeing. Not that he had been up to it. He’d given Gabriel a book on the subject, written for parents on the care of young humans, but it was the best he could do. The inevitable questions had left Aziraphale with the metaphysical version of a headache and Crowley laughing. Gabriel had been appalled. It would probably be terribly amusing, later, when he got over it, or maybe not. But right now, he just needed to get them out. He penned a quick note to Crowley to meet him in their usual place in the park and hopefully he could get some small amount of peace.

“What is the purpose of running?” Gabriel asked. “I meant to ask earlier. What do the humans really get out of it?”

“Well, it’s like you said, keeping the body fit. A human can’t just miracle themselves into shape. Plus it’s good for the health.”

“Are you implying that...”

“I am simply saying that short of a bit of flying or sparring, if you are the martial sort, Angels don’t really _need_ exercise, while humans do.”

“But you...”

“My form,” Aziraphale cut him off, “is suited to the kind of human that other humans expect me to be. Besides, it’s exactly the same as it always has been. It gives them a sense that I can be...trusted.” He was not going to allow Gabriel to plant those doubts again. Crowley had, as always, been very willing to make certain that he felt good about himself and he was not going to allow Gabriel to ruin that.

“All right, Angel?” Crowley asked as he made his way to their usual bench, avoiding the shifting ducks who had shown up, knowing treats were in the offing. He had chosen to take his time, coming in a different way just to check things out. Not that he trustEd Gabriel, he didn’t, not even a little bit, still there was very little he thought the former angel could do, but still...

“Ticketty boo, dear, now that you are here,” Aziraphale said with a gentle smile.

“And why are we? Here I mean. You haven’t drowned the nuisance in the duck pond by any chance?”

“No, of course not. I wouldn’t do that to our feathered friends. I’ve sent him for a run. Thought a bit of exercise would do him some good,” Aziraphale answered.

“Getting on your nerves, then,” Crowley commented.

“I...well, yes. He seemed to be having trouble concentrating and I remembered that we had met running in the park once, and thought.”

“You would get a little peace? Sounds a plan. Mind, I’m not sure he will enjoy it. I mean, before he didn’t have to worry about breathing or heart rate, not to mention hauling that big lump of corpertion around. Still, it’s something. I know you don’t want to think about it, I know I don’t, but we do have to figure out how to get him more interested in humanity and the human world, and books aren’t doing the trick.”

“Oh, I do know, but I just...” Aziraphale made a fluttery sort of gesture with his hands, one that Crowley always found endearing (not that he didn’t find everything about the angel endearing, but still) and caused him to drop more of the food he’d brought for the ducks. The ducks surged forward and for a moment the two immortals were distracted watching their antics as they tried to beat one another to the food. “Now, now, there’s plenty,” Aziraphale tutted.

“You, you’ve already had your go,” Crowley looked over at a big drake, who was old enough and familiar enough to back away from the demon’s notice. They were relaxing a little when suddenly the ducks scattered. Looking up they both saw the big red, sweating lump that was the former angel stumble towards them.

Gabriel was panting hard, looking on his way to that middle aged, middle management heart attack he probably would have already had if he’d been human. “What...what...” he started, as Aziraphale made room on the bench for him and miracled up a water bottle, which he handed over. Crowley also abandoned the bench, avoiding getting former angel sweat on his immaculate jacket. Gabriel took the water and drank, still breathing like a bellows, close to hyperventilating.

“Put your head down between your knees,” the demon commanded in disgust. “Don’t want you passing out.”

“What...” Gabriel tried again, gulping air.

“Don’t speak until you can breathe properly again,” Aziraphale told him. “Just let your body do what it does naturally.”

“When he can move, we need to get him back to the shop,” Crowley said, looking around. A couple jogging by looked like they were going to stop, but seeing that he had people looking after him, they nodded to the demon and continued on their way. “Don’t want anyone calling 999.”

“Yes, of course. Did you bring the car?” Gabriel turned pale at that. “It’s that or walk and I am certain you are not up to _that_ ,” Aziraphale said pointedly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took me so long to get this up. Life got a little crazy. As always, thanks for reading and please leave comments and kudos to help the muse along.


	6. Interlude

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A little soft, a little fluffy, and a visit to the department of backstory.

Four days. Gabriel had been with them for four days. It seemed longer. The first couple, Aziraphale had plied him with books, a sort of crash course in humanity. It kept him out of trouble for the most part, but he had a lot of questions. It also meant he was around, since neither of them trusted him out in the city, but they were missing the time they both felt (rightly) should be spent developing their new found relationship. The problem was, they didn’t know how to get him involved in the world, both knew what they loved about the world, about humanity, but how did you go about sharing that with, well, as Crowley had put it so colourfully, ‘an uptight nob end’.

They had also been limiting their excursions, especially since the attempt at interesting Gabriel in physical exercise had ended with a panting, sweating mess. (‘But I’m already soaked, why do I have to shower?’ the former angel had whined at them. Watching Crowley revert for a moment to Nanny voice had actually brought a smile to Aziraphale’s face, that he hid quickly. That it had worked said probably more about Gabriel’s emotional maturity than he’d wanted to contemplate).  
Neither of them really wanted to take him to any of their favourite places, or be seen with him. They needed a plan, but it wasn’t going to come easily. At the moment the angel was in the office, looking though some new acquisitions, or pretending to. Instead he had been thinking about the much more pleasant thought of his lover. The demon had gone back to his flat, leaving him with a quick kiss. “Not long, Angel,” he’d said as he closed the door. “When I get back, I might have an idea.”

Aziraphale could remember clearly the first time Crowley had called him ‘Angel’. It had felt like something...something special though he hadn’t known what. He had still been getting used to things, to life, coming to terms with humans and his role on Earth. He’d tried to put if off as simply being easier. After all, his knew his name was a bit of a mouthful. But it hadn’t stopped that little spark every time Crowley said it.

Then came that night, the night of the world failing to end, when he had allowed himself to be coaxed into the demon’s lair, er, flat.

_It hadn’t been hard. Crowley had been right, with the shop gone, he had no place to go. He’s also been right that it really didn’t matter. He’d been in Heaven’s bad books as much as Crowley was in Hell’s, only a slightly harder feat (and not nearly as different as it ought to be), and they had needed to work on their plan._

_They had been there with a glass (or six) of wine, talking together on Crowley’s leather settee. He didn’t remember exactly what it was that he had said, but the demon smiled at him. “Oh, Angel,” he’d said. Then the demon reached out, stroked his cheek gently, and kissed him._

_Aziraphale hadn’t been sure what to expect. He’d never been kissed before. Not that he hadn’t thought about it, wondered what it would be, especially to be kissed by the beautiful demon next to him. His second thought, when he could get to it, was that they were probably the two stupidest creatures in the universe to have waited so long, before he stopped thinking again and just got lost in the feelings._

_“Angel,” Crowley had said as he broke the kiss. His voice was low and there was something new in his tone. “If this...tell me to stop,” he ended a little raggedly. Aziraphale recognised it for what it was, a choice. He realised that the demon was no more sure than he had been. Instead of answering, he leaned in and returned the kiss. Crowley’s face showed everything. He pulled Aziraphale closer, moving slowly enough to allow the angel to retreat but he didn’t, he didn’t want to. After all, he realised as they got lost in one another again, they had both wasted so much time already._

_As close as they were wrapped around one another, it was obviously the effect they were having on one another. “Bed?” the demon suggested, pulling away just enough to look into his eyes. The angel blushed a little, but nodded and allowed Crowley to take his hand and lead him towards the bedroom._

Those pleasant thoughts distracted him just a bit from not only the book in front of him, but the not terribly angelic presence in his upstairs room, at least for a time, but before he could sink deeper into those daydreams, he felt an arm around him.

Crowley had slipped quietly into the little office area in the shop and slid an arm around Aziraphale where he sat looking over a new acquisition. The angel looked up with a tired smile. “Where is he?”

“Upstairs.”

“Good.” Crowley leaned over and engaged him in a long, slow kiss.

“Hmmm.”

“Better?” the demon asked.

“Much. I just...” But before he could continue, his mouth was once again occupied, Crowley’s clever tongue slipping between his lips, promising, teasing, distracting him from anything and everything. Aziraphale rose from the chair to wrap his lover in his arms. They had just started figuring things out themselves when their lives had been disrupted by the no longer angel, and Aziraphale had missed it more than he could say, but neither of them was interested in putting on a display for Gabriel or answering any questions on the subject. They limited themselves to just enough for reassurance (and to make the unwanted guest uncomfortable) retiring to their room in the evening for a more thorough sort of comfort. Still after all the time they had waited, they had a lot of making up to do.

Crowley leaned back against the desk, letting the angel take control. He had to admit, while he could still think clearly, that considering the angel’s complete inexperience when the demon had first taken him to bed, he had been learning, and that quickly. But further thought deserted him as he was held tightly, pressed against the edge of the desk getting lost in that beautiful kiss. “Umm, we should...” he started but stopped as he looked over the angel’s shoulder and realised they were no longer alone. He pulled gently away.

“My de...”

“Not Alone,” the demon whispered tightly, though he didn’t release his hold on his lover.

Behind them, standing quietly, Gabriel was watching them.

“What do you think you’re doing?” the angel asked sharply.

“Waiting for you, watching you. You said interrupting people was wrong.”

“Put a bell on him,” Crowley growled low.

“That’s cats,” Aziraphale said offhandedly.

“Even better,” the demon whispered. “I can make that happen. I even like cats” He flicked his sensitive tongue a little, tasting the air, his lover’s distress. He was more than willing to do whatever was necessary to protect Aziraphale from upset. But the angel released him, reluctantly.

“Come on,” the angel ordered, taking Gabriel into the other room. He wasn’t any more happy than Crowley was about the interruption, but he was not going to have this conversation right there when the shop was still open.

“Why do you do that?” Gabriel asked as they stepped into kitchen area at the back of the shop.

“Do what?” Aziraphale asked, as if he didn’t know. “Do that? Kiss him, that’s what we were doing, it’s called kissing, surely you have...”

“I know what you were doing. I don’t know why,” Gabriel said petulantly. “You touch him, let him touch you. You do those things, then at night, you both go into your room together. What...”

“What people do alone behind closed doors is not something you ask about,” Aziraphale snapped.

“Why not?”

“Gabriel, there are things that...”

“Oh, for...” Crowley started to hiss, having followed them more slowly, Aziraphale reached out and touched his arm gently. “Don’t bother, Angel. Listen you, there are things that are none of your blessed business and if you...” The shop bell interrupted them. “I’ll go,” the demon said. “Try to straighten him out before I do something I won’t at all regret.” The demon turned on his heel, and left. It said more for his irritation that he was volunteering to tend a customer, than risk staying in the room with the aggravating being.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little more of the story, and a happy birthday to my sister and beta, Birdy Diamond. Thank you for the comments, and the kudos, keep them coming.


	7. Dealing with ‘insurance’ men, a demonic method

“You Mr. Fell?” the big man in the suit asked as Crowley went out front to get away from Gabriel. There were limits and the former archangel was trying all of his. The man standing there was large, blocky, and had a nose that had been broken at least once. He was wearing a suit that, while being expensive, spoke more of being purchased based on price rather than actual style. His partner was an old school enforcer, the sort that gets hired out by raw pound weight, and was no more likely to be mistaken for anything else than Crowley was for a choir boy. They were also both looking around the shop in that way that spoke of trying to find inconspicuous ignition points.

That in itself was enough to irritate Crowley further. Even though the bookshop was fine now, the fire had been traumatic for both of them, Aziraphale for losing his home, possessions, and life’s work, and Crowley because he’d feared at the time that he’d lost Aziraphale. Besides, they both smelled of Hell, not in an overt, demon sort of way, but rather in a ‘I’m working really hard on getting there’ way. On the other hand, they did give the demon something to do with his bad mood. Aziraphale usually just waited and made them forget the place for a while. Crowley planned to make them remember, and stay far, far away.

“Do I look like I run a bookshop?” he asked. Neither of them answered and he sighed. _Falling_ _standards_ , he thought. “No, I’m his partner, you can call me Crowley.” Then he smiled.

When he returned to the other room, he was feeling much better. He gave them credit. Despite first signs, they turned out to be much smarter than their usual sort, or at least the ones he had dealt with. Admittedly it had been a while. But it hadn’t taken too much for them to understand why they were both outclassed and out intimidated. He’d admitted, when asked, that he was familiar with fire and in a far more intimate way than they were. “Yet.” Then he’d removed his shades. The better dressed one spent about half a minute trying to convince himself that it was some kind of trick, contacts, that kind of thing, though why he would be wearing them on an ordinary Tuesday afternoon when there was no sign he was going anywhere was a question. The other one settled for begging for his soul, (not his life, clever that, Crowley thought).

“As it happens, Souls are my...employer‘s concern, not mine, and since I’ve recently retired, I am feeling generous. Of course that could change very quickly depending on how smart you two are. So, what you will do is stay away from this shop, in fact, this entire neighbourhood. Let’s say the whole post code, just for safety’s sake, forever. You will tell your boss to stay away as well, or he will be seeing mine rather sooner than he really wants to.” Then he smiled again.

“Is there..I mean, we....” the enforcer who clearly had more church upbringing than the other. “If we wanted to avoid...”

“That last trip downstairs?” Crowley suggested.

“Yes, that...could we?” What the hell, it wasn’t his problem anymore. Besides, he was feeling rather kindly towards the two of them for getting him out of dealing with Gabriel, and providing some small amusement.

“You could, here is what you need...” It really was the most fun he’d had with their sort in a long while.

In the back, Gabriel had gone, though the demon neither knew nor particularly cared where. Aziraphale was looking a little distracted, but he gave Crowley a smile. “Who was that?”

“No one important, just a couple of fire insurance men. I settled them.” It was a sign of how much everything was getting to him that Aziraphale didn’t even ask. “Look, Angel, why don’t I lock up and you go upstairs. Maybe I can come help you relax?” he suggested.

“What about...” he started to say, but instead, he nodded. He liked it when the demon took care of him. He had realised recently just exactly how much the demon had always taken care of him, the little things he did, things that only someone who knew him well would think of. As always, it reminded him of just how much they had been ignoring their relationship and for how long. But rather than think about it too much, he got up and headed for the stairs. He was certain he could figure out some way of returning the demon’s care.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the comments and kudos, especially as today has been a very long one. Enjoy, and keep them coming.


	8. Caring for Angel- Demon edition

When Crowley came up the stairs, he noticed first that the door to the room Gabriel had been using was closed, probably best. Maybe he could convince his angel that they could leave him on his own and go back to his flat tonight. After all Gabriel was over 6,000 years old. He should be capable of looking after himself by now. Filing that for later, he opened the door and was both shocked and pleased by what he saw. Aziraphale had his back to the door, beautiful white wings unfurled, stretching out almost from one side of the small room to the other. He started to turn and tuck them away as he heard the demon. “I just needed a bit of a stretch,” he commented. “Mind, I think I could stand to do a bit of...” He reached back and tried to scratch a little bit.

“Here, let me,” the demon said, stepping up behind him and caressing the soft feathers before lightly scratching at the top. He could not have said until that moment exactly how much he wanted to touch the angel that way, in his true form. The demon ran a gentle hand over them, carefully stroking the feathers back into place.

“Ummmm,” the angel sighed and stretched them out, arching his back.

“Good? Here, just...” A snap of his fingers, and the angel was bare from the waist. “That’s better. You know these modern clothes don’t accommodate them well,” he whispered as he stepped closer to Aziraphale’s bare back. “Now...” He scratched gently the joint between wing and skin, that place that always got an itch but was blessed impossible to reach on your own. It felt good, intimate. He could remember the days before the Fall, when an angel could always find another angel for a little bit of what the humans called social grooming, a bit of friendly, companionable help keeping the feathers in order. Not that they had really known anything about intimacy at the time. Actually he imagined the Almighty probably got the idea for the behaviour in apes from them, not that he thought anyone would be terribly flattered by the comparison. Couldn’t remember who was in charge of primates anymore anyway. His own somewhat serpentine traits were the results of his passing them on to his own projects rather than the other way round, and he really thought he had come out pretty well on that end of things. After all, considering some of the others who fell, well, Beelzebub hadn’t exactly gotten lucky in that department or Hastur. But he immediately stopped thinking about that, after all, there were much better things to think of when he had his hands wrapped in his angel’s beautifully soft wings.

“How is that?” he asked gently, leaning close to the angel, pressed against his warm back. “Give them a good stretch and let me see.” The angel moaned softly and stretched his wings, careful not to disturb anything. It felt good to be so close, unable to resist caressing the soft feathers, gently scratching his nails down the joints. He stroked each feather carefully to make sure the veins were back in line and smoothed, then the feathers themselves. When he was done, they were all laying quite smoothly and evenly. But he couldn’t resist continuing to caress them.

“Oh, my dear,” the angel whispered. “It feels...can I...”

“What, what is it, wherever you want,” the demon whispered.

“You. I want you, please. I never...” The angel sounded a bit breathy.

“Arousing?” the demon whispered, pressing closer to him. He wanted Aziraphale to understand that it was absolutely mutual.

“Yes, I’ve never felt that way with...Crowley, my dear, please, I...” He started to fold away his wings to allow himself more room to turn.

“Leave them,” the demon growled.

“But I...” Crowley stopped whatever he was doing, (and tamped down the rush of desire as his lover whimpered), then he carefully directed him to fold his wing in a little allowing the demon to slip around him, pressing as close as he could get. Aziraphale reached out and stroked a hand down his lean chest, banishing his dark shirt back to the closet (he had been learning a few other things from his lover) before wrapping both his arms and his wings around the two of them, creating a little space that was just for them.

The softness of the angels wing’s across his bare skin, evoking both desire and tenderness in him. It really shouldn’t be nearly as exciting as it was, after all, he had his own wings but this was very different. But before he could consider it further, his mouth was occupied by an enthusiastic angel. Aziraphale was not usually the one who took the lead but this time he clearly had some very definite ideas on the subject.

Crowley found himself on the bed, naked, with his angel mantling over him, as if his wings were a shield against anything or anyone disturbing him. After that, thinking became impossible.

“Promise me something,” the angel said, sometime later when they were lying in a limp, satisfied tangle.

“Anything, Angel.” As a rule, demons were reluctant to leave those kind of openings, but this _was_ Aziraphale.

“You’ll let me return the favour.”

“The...” he asked a little vaguely.

“Let me tend your wings? I admit, I have very much wanted to touch them,” the angel said with a slight blush.

“You would?” Aziraphale realised he had found one of the demon’s personal insecurities. As a rule, Crowley tried very hard to present that he was not bothered by anything, but they were there, below the surface, the things he would only show to Aziraphale. “You never said.” Indeed the angel either had good instincts or had been keeping exhaustive records. The way he would press a gentle kiss to the mark beside his ear, the wiggly sigil that he’d always found a bit shameful, the mark of his Fall, but when Aziraphale brushed against it, pressed a gentle kiss there, it wasn’t shameful, it was confirmation. It was ‘no matter what you are, you are mine, and I love all of what you are, no matter what.” This was another one of those things. “I just didn’t think you would...”

“Of course my dear. I’ve always thought they were the most beautiful wings. Not boring like mine.”

“You... like them?” Crowley asked, slightly confused. He had always been a bit ashamed of his black feathers. “But yours are so....” he stopped as the angel leaned closer.

“I love all of you, your ginger curls, your golden eyes, and yes, even your beautiful black feathers. They are so...appropriate. I cannot tell you how much I have wanted to run my fingers through them.” That last declaration had the very real possibility of restarting things, if it hadn’t been for the knock on the door.

“We had best,” the angel said reluctantly.

“Suppose so. Do you want to make dinner or shall I go get a takeaway?” They had been sticking pretty heavily to the shop, and what they could cook or miracle up, with their annoying guest, but Crowley could really go for something different. Maybe a curry. The thought of introducing Gabriel to curry had some real potential for amusement, but probably not tonight. Actually the thought kind of mixed with some others he’d been having on the subject of their resident annoyance that he hadn’t quite gotten around to formulate into something as coherent as a plan, but maybe he could work it out when he went for food. He snapped his fingers to repair his appearance, as Aziraphale did the same, restoring the room as well.

“I’m not really up to cooking tonight. How about that Italian place? The one over near Victoria Station?” he asked as he opened the door to find Gabriel looking suspiciously at them, peering over Aziraphale’s shoulder into the small, neat bedroom as if he was expecting something, not that he knew what. 

One of the things that Aziraphale’s crash course in humanity had included had been a dictionary, and after hearing the two of them joke about ‘pornography’, he’d looked it up. It still made him blush to think about how he and Sandelphon had come in asking for it in loud voices, trying to pretend to be average patrons. Gabriel really tried not to remember that. It was the most embarrassing thing to happen to him on earth since...well, he didn’t like to think about the other time either.

“Sounds good, shall I get junior something from the kiddie menu?” Crowley asked, pointing to Gabriel.

“How...” the former angel started. “I’m not a...”

“Do you know anything about Italian food?” the demon asked.

“No, but...”

“Fine, pick something out yourself,” the demon said, miracling up a menu.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who is reading, and to answer the question, there will be Caring for Demon as well. This chapter has some implied sexual content, but its only implied because it takes me FOREVER to write smut (and gives me hives) and I wanted to continue the story. It is possible there will be actual smut later, but I have to plan it well in advance and while parts of this story are quite old, I haven’t really got there. Please keep up the comments and the kudos, they keep me going.


	9. A course in humanity—planning

“So, I think I might have a plan,” Crowley said, later, as they laid curled around one another on the settee in the back of the shop. Gabriel had eaten his dinner (after a couple minutes of trying to read the menu, he gave in and asked for help) with a glass of a moderate Italian wine and dessert and he had taken himself off, saying he was feeling sleepy.

“The last time you had a plan, we ended up raising the wrong child,” the angel reminded him gently.

“Yes, and that worked out. Maybe not the way we planned, but it worked out,” the demon said with a smile.

“Granted. Have you heard from young Warlock?” he asked. He knew the demon cared more for the boy than he was willing to admit, and had slipped him his email address before they left.

“He hates his new school, hates America and generally everything else, not uncommon at his age. He is hoping his father gets reassigned back here. But right now let’s deal with the problem at hand, Gabriel. Now my plan...”

“Yes, what is it you have in mind? I admit, I have no ideas myself.”

“Not sure how you will feel about this but, we both know what we love about this world. Okay, so the running didn’t quite work out, but maybe that was a bit too advanced. The thing is, we love many of the same things, just not necessarily in the same way.”

“You mean like music? You love that bebop and I...”

“Something like that. So I thought maybe we should introduce him to a bit of everything, I mean we might be pressed to find a fine dining establishment that doesn’t know you, but I’m pretty certain neither of us has ever been caught in any condition in a fast food establishment, say.”

“No,” Azirphale said with a look. “Was that one of yours?”

“Don’t look at me, I might have gotten the credit for it, but I’m pretty sure the humans did it to themselves.”

“So you want to introduce him to bad food? Are you...”

“No, not exactly. Not just food, but I was thinking about other things, you could take him to church, we could, and I can’t believe I’m saying this, take him to a night club. A little of this and a little of that, modern art and classical music, fine dining and fast food, the National Portrait Gallery and the Tate, reality television and black and white movies, beer and single malt scotch,” the demon elaborated. “Normal human things.”

“Church is an interesting idea, I suppose I should have given him a copy of the humans’ Bible as well, I’m not sure anyone up there has read it, but we do have so many lovely churches,” Aziraphale said thoughtfully.

“That’s not a bad idea. Pretty sure it’s not popular with my lot, but who can tell. So you see where I am going, let’s introduce him to all the things we can think of, and see what sticks. He’s bound to find something worth caring about.”

“So the two of us introducing him to the world, the virtue and the vice?”

The angel gave him a slightly wicked smile that could have easily derailed the conversation if Crowley hadn’t stood on top of his feelings and shoved them down (and really, where had the Angel learned to tempt so well, oh, yes, him, well bless it all to heaven). He dragged himself back to the subject. “Well, you could put it that way, though there are some vices that...just no. I mean I’m certain I could find someone who I could pay enough, but...”. The demon shuddered.

“Stop, my dear, please stop right there. It’s not something either of us want to think about. He can figure _that_ part of humanity out himself, thank you,” Aziraphale said firmly. “Where do we start though? We should make a list.”

“We can make a list later, but let’s start simple.” He pulled out his phone. “It’s supposed to rain tomorrow, how about a movie? We could introduce him to popcorn.”

“I like popcorn. But how about those video tapes first? If that goes well, we can try a matinee. Sort of a trial run.”

“Sounds good, he’s probably going to be the sort to ask questions and talk. I’ll set it up,” the demon assured him. Crowley may have no idea how technology worked, other than he knew and believed it would so it did, but Aziraphale was hopelessly old fashioned, and got flustered by a smart phone. It was easier.

“Oh, I could take him to the shops for supplies. Thank you so much my dear, just in case I don’t say it, I couldn’t do this without you, you know that.”

“Well, I wouldn’t want you to,” Crowley told him. “So, Operation Get Gabriel Out of the Spare Room is on.”

“Shouldn’t it be Operation Get Gabriel Back to Heaven?” Aziraphale asked, smiling at his demon.

“I don’t care if he goes back to Heaven, or just to Bournemouth, as long as he goes somewhere.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a short one today, but I wanted to leave it where it was. Thank you for the comments and the kudos, and I really hope to have more soon.


	10. First lessons—shopping

“So we have a bit of a treat for you today,” Aziraphale announced the next morning. Gabriel looked at him sceptically. “We are going to have a movie night tonight, so I thought you could go with me to the shops later for supplies. I have to open the shop, of course, but we can get a bit of shopping done first.”

“Supplies?” Gabriel asked. “And what exactly is a movie night? I have seen movies, or at least I’ve seen that they are something that humans enjoy. But what are they for?”

“It’s...well it’s a story, like a fiction book. They are fun, you watch them, and eat popcorn and...Well, you should at least try them.”

“All right, as long as I don’t have to run there or get in that infernal machine,” the former angel said, though he didn’t sound particularly thrilled.

“There is nothing wrong with Crowley’s car, it’s perfectly...well, it’s a lovely automobile,” he amended himself. It was true Crowley’s driving was only possible because they were supernatural beings, but that wasn’t something to share with Gabriel. “Perhaps next time we ought to try the bus, you can see ever so much more of the city, or maybe the tube.”

“What kind of tube?” Gabriel asked.

“Really, how have you watched humanity for so long and still be so ignorant of them and all the things they have done?” he asked, exasperated.

“Watching them isn’t _my_ department, obviously. I just supervise, make the assignments, that sort of thing.”

“But you are the heavenly messenger. You used to have to...”

“Oh those, yes, but that was a long time ago. I haven’t done the messenger thing in ages,” he commented.

Aziraphale tutted as he put down a cup of tea and coffee for Crowley. He gave Gabriel a glass of orange juice, on the principle of getting him to try new things. Besides it had vitamins, and he was pretty sure that it was more healthy now that it was a concern. They had thus far stuck with basic traditional fare, but after the same breakfast, Aziraphale was bored and Crowley had nipped out to a little patisserie they liked. Surely there would be something he would like. So he explained orange juice and shopping lists, showing him how it was managed when the demon came in with a bakery box.

The rain had not really started when they set out, though Aziraphale insisted they both take umbrellas, as they stepped into the street. Soho was its usual kaleidoscope or colours, sights, sounds, and smells. The angel thought briefly over the changes that had come to the neighbourhood in the long years he had lived there, up and down and up again, but it had always maintained a certain spirit, probably why he was still there after so very long.

They passed the Cafe Nero on the corner (‘it’s a place you can get coffee,’ he explained to Gabriel, ‘not at all like the coffee houses back in the day, but some of them do at least try.’), two restaurants of vastly different quality, a couple of rare and second hand bookshops, and a junk shop. Every so often someone would greet him and he would call a greeting back, but they kept going, making it clear they had places to be. They paused near a small shop on a corner as they waited for the light to change. It was a small shop with bright colours and a few packages with labels that the ex angel somehow knew meant different things from what they said, like a joke he didn’t get.

“That,” the angel said in a low voice ‘is the sort of establishment where one goes to get pornography.”

Gabriel went red. He really had hoped that Aziraphale would have forgotten about that. At least the demon hadn’t been around. Briefly Gabriel was grateful before it occurred to him to wonder if the angel had told him. Had the two of them been laughing about it? Surely he wouldn’t do that to a fellow angel? A sneaky voice in the back of his mind reminded him of the times he had said uncomplimentary things about Aziraphale behind his back though, and maybe it was only fair. Before he could dwell on it, however, his guide announced their arrival at their first stop.

Gabriel had never been in a ‘super market’ before. His experience with markets, super or otherwise, was a couple...no, more like a couple thousand years out of date. He vaguely remembered a market in Bethlehem, it was nothing like this though.

“Here, take this,” Aziraphale said handing him a plastic basket. “I thought we would get you a few other things to try. But what we need is popcorn, oh, and butter of course, the real kind. Crowley won’t have it any other way.” The angel’s smile confused him.

“Morning Mr. Fell,” a young woman said as they passed the doors.

“Oh, good morning, Mary, how are the children?” he asked politely.

“Just fine, sir. Not like you to shop on a Thursday.” She was pushing large metal baskets on wheels into a line.

“Needed a few things, I have my... cousin staying, from America,” he said politely before smiling and steering Gabriel deeper into the store. In general, he preferred small, individual purveyors of food and drink, but he needed ‘junk food’ and a few other things, to expand his former superior’s horizons. Besides, he made it a strict custom to go to the grocery store once a week to pick up those little essentials that humans required, just to keep up appearances (the cleaning supplies, he miracled into the donations bins at various churches and charity organisations around town since, except for some things like washing up liquid, he didn’t use them). Of course, with Gabriel around, he actually was going to need some things, since he would need to learn, depending on how long he was on earth.

As they made their way through the store, several of the employees and the odd shopper greeted them, and with each he had a little something to say, something personal, a question about an ageing relative, good wishes on an upcoming exam, congratulations on the birth of a baby, and all the while he had that smile.

Gabriel kept mostly quiet except for the requisite greetings, instead he watched. The angel’s smile confused him. He’d always thought Aziraphale was soft, too attached to the humans, not enough of a team player. Now he was starting to see something else. That perhaps he was playing for another team entirely. He was the angelic guardian of humans and everything, including his actions at the end of the world had been part of that purpose. It couldn’t be that though, could it? Had he, despite his archangel status, been misunderstanding the angel’s duties the whole time? No, that couldn’t possibly it, he dismissed the thought. Still it didn’t go away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little more for your enjoyment, at least I hope you enjoy. Please keep the comments and kudos coming.


	11. Lesson Two- Movie night.

By the time they left the market, it was actively raining. They had achieved their goals, at least according to the angel. They had acquired popcorn, some kind of drink in cans called soda pop, and various products for hygiene including a shaver. “What’s that for?” Gabriel asked.

“It’s to...well, you shave with it,” Aziraphale commented a little frustrated. “You are getting a bit unkempt.”

Gabriel had noticed the strange hair growing on his face and been startled by it, after all, he’d never had it before, simply because he never thought about it. Of course he also had no idea how to get rid of it, or if he was supposed to, and he didn’t want to ask either of them. “I don’t know how,” he said as they walked out into the rain, a large umbrella held by Aziraphale over them.

“I...we’ll figure it out,” Aziraphale answered finally. He wasn’t sure how to shave himself, he’s simply never grown any facial hair. Maybe Crowley would know, they could ask later. Meanwhile, they continued on their errands.

They stopped at a place called a ‘dry cleaner’ where the angel picked up some clothing hanging in plastic bags and spoke briefly to the clerk about how her school work was progressing, then at another place for cheese and still another for wine. In every place they went, the angel was greeted politely and he returned the favour. He knew everyone’s name and something about them.

Finally, they had finished all their stops and were headed back to the shop. The rain was still falling, the packages were getting heavy, and Gabriel had water in his shoes, so when the rain picked up, Aziraphale suggested they take shelter in a shop. “Would you like a coffee?” he asked.

“You mean the stuff the demon drinks? I don’t think I like it,” he said. Truth was, after the demon had explained the many different ways to drink coffee, he was too confused and too upset about being confused that the just gave up.

“Many people do,” the angel said. “Besides, this has different kinds of coffee. Very different from what Crowley drinks.”

They made their way to the counter, but after looking at the menu board, he was none the wiser. “I don’t know what any of these things are,” he commented.

“Well, take your time, look over...”

“What is that?” he asked pointing to a concoction in a clear container capped with whipped cream.

“That is called a frappocino, it’s made with ice and very sweet.”

“Okay, I’ll try that.” After a few minutes, their order was ready and the former angel, having tasted his drink, decided that maybe coffee wasn’t such a bad thing after all, at least that kind of coffee. “This is...all right,” Gabriel said reluctantly. He didn’t want Aziraphale thinking he was starting to accept this human stuff. But he finished it quickly and they headed back to the bookshop.

When they got back, it was clear that Crowley had been doing something. There was a flat screen telly hanging on a wall in the back room and he’d moved some of the furniture around to make sure they could watch it. Of the demon himself, however, there was no sign. Probably off getting disks or tapes or whatever one used to watch movies these days, the angel thought. He had said something about streaming so maybe he needed to get streams, streamers, whatever, he had never been good with technology. He sent Gabriel upstairs to put things away and went into the kitchen to deal with the rest.

Crowley came in some time later, a small box in one hand, which he gave to Aziraphale with a smile. “Just a little treat. Where is...” he asked.

“He’s upstairs,” the angel said, accepting a kiss.

“How about we order pizza?” the demon said, sitting in his lap. “Another new experience, and we don’t have to worry about feeding him. Plus it’s absolutely pissing down out there now.”

“Pizza?” Aziraphale asked with a small pout.

“Oh, you know you like that place over near Trafalgar, and they deliver. No greasy pepperoni, I promise. Come on, you know you do.”

“I don’t...hate it,” he replied cautiously. “Don’t forget the garlic bread.”

“All right. I’ll make the order, and you can get the ex angel,” Crowley said pulling himself up. “But that box is not for sharing.”

Watching the demon head for the other room, he opened it. It was a small box of his favourite chocolates from a small shop near Berkeley square. With a small miracle, he sent them up to his night table for later. Pizza wouldn’t be that bad. Besides, he needed to find out what movies the demon had chosen.

“So what do we do with these movies?” Gabriel asked as he sat down in the chair they had left for him.

“We watch them. I thought we would start simple, classic, The Ten Commandments,” Crowley told him. “At least you are familiar with it.”

“Okay. I remember the paperwork. The humans made a movie about it?” he asked.

“They’ve made a couple about Biblical events. Its what a lot of their religion is based on, at least the Judaeo Christian Islamic ones anyway,” Aziraphale said.

“I never paid much attention to human...”

“What, you’ve never read the human Bible, or the Torah or...” the angel asked in shock from where he was sitting on the couch next to his lover.

“Never got around to it. I mean it’s nothing to do with us, really, is it?”

“It’s only the basis for everything that their religion tells us about...well, about us and about the Almighty. I will get you a copy tomorrow so you can read it. Really, I can’t...” There was the sound of the doorbell, and Crowley pulled himself up from the couch.

“That must be the pizza, sort this out while I’m gone, will you?” Then he headed out front. “I’m coming,” he called as the bell rang again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it’s taken me so long, its just been a very rough week or so here. Please do the usual things and thank you for the comments and kudos.
> 
> A small note— the lockdown and the other things happening in the world right now will not be included in this story, partially because I had planned this story before, and partially because where I live in NYC, it’s just a little too close right now. Maybe later in another story, because they are important I’m just not in the headspace for it.


	12. Reflections on lessons and things not to learn from watching telly.

Gabriel woke the next morning after a pretty good night’s sleep. ‘Movie night’ had been interesting. At first he hadn’t known what to make of the movies. They were different. Certainly not the way he remembered events, but then he hadn’t had first hand experience. Really, he’d never cared much for earth or humans for that matter, which, he was sure Aziraphale would point out if he mentioned it, was part of the problem with his current situation.

Crowley had brought in the pizza and they had settled in to watch the first one, an old movie (according to the demon) about the Ten Commandments. “Ten?” he’d asked. “I’m pretty sure that...”

“Long story,” the demon said.

“I’ll tell you all about it tomorrow, when we start your...er....’religious education’.” For some reason, the demon found that hilarious.

He had liked the pizza, though. He’d stared at it with a certain amount of suspicion at first before tasting it. “Careful, it’s hot,” Aziraphale had warned him, a second _after_ he’d taken a big bite and subsequently burned his mouth. He’d glared, but eventually he had made a second attempt and it really was worth the effort, though he wasn’t sure about popcorn. The bowl had ended up between the angel and the demon on the sofa and he had not been very willing to reach over them to get it.

Still, he had watched and listened, both to the movie and to Aziraphale and the demon (what _had_ his name been? Gabriel had made it a matter of pride not to remember any of the angels that fell, apart from Lucifer, but now he was starting to wonder). They had spent a certain amount of time commenting on what it had really been like. Of course he’d also spent a certain amount of his time wracking his brains to figure out where the humans had got some of this stuff, but put it aside as something that would be explained later.

Beyond that, he’d been watching the two of them, the way they interacted. They sat on the sofa together, next to each other, holding hands. There was something...happy, content in a way he could not really understand. He felt like he was missing something serious that they seemed to have found, something, well, _human_.

After the second movie he felt like he had enough, and Crowley had put on ‘telly’. He was familiar with the concept at least, he remembered a memo about the humans inventing it. That was also where he had been exposed to ‘commercials’, and where he’d got the idea for his next experiment. After all, how hard could shaving be?

The shouting brought Aziraphale running into the bathroom rather suddenly. In front of the mirror, Gabriel was looking at himself, watching a small trickle of red as it ran down his chin. “I don’t know what happened,” he said. “But it _hurt_! What do I do?”

“Oh dear, what...”

“I was trying to shave. I saw them do it, I thought it couldn’t be that hard and then...what do I do? How do I make it stop?” It didn’t take long for Aziraphale to diagnose the problem and make the bleeding stop before telling him to clean up and come down.

“Change of plans,” the angel said when he was sat at the table, while Crowley slumped in a chair over a cup of coffee. “Before we do anything else, I’m taking him to a barber. Maybe you just need to experience it, see someone giving a proper shave before you try yourself.”

“Yeah, I suppose letting him take a chance at slitting his own throat would be a bad idea,” Crowley remarked. “If nothing else, there would be the mess.”

“I will take him over as soon as the shops open. Then we can head off to church.” Gabriel didn’t much like being talked about as if he wasn’t there, but he didn’t really want to interfere in the conversation. The demon didn’t really like him any more than he liked the demon, but provoking him always left him feeling like he was on the losing side.

“Church?!” Crowley asked, looking uneasy. Of course it was no surprise, church was bound to make him uneasy, demon, after all.

“Yes. I thought a visit to St. Paul’s would be a good way to start,” Aziraphale told him.

“At least it’s beautiful,” the demon said with a shrug.

“A bite of breakfast and we will get on then, if we want to be back before the rain. What about you, dear?”

“Well, plants to water, maybe start making some decisions on that greenhouse design,” the demon said vaguely. Aziraphale could barely repress a sigh. He had suggested a greenhouse on the roof as a way to make the space more theirs just last night. Not that Aziraphale was rejecting Crowley’s earlier suggestion that they share his flat, but making room for each other was a step they could take now, and having more room for plants, room here at the bookstore just seemed like the ideal way to move forward in their relationship, especially while they were trying to juggle that and having Gabriel around.

At least, now that he was certain that Gabriel wasn’t likely to set anything on fire, kill himself, or do anything irreparable to the bookshop, he had given in to the tentative suggestion that they go out by themselves tonight, leave the former angel alone with some materials on religion, the telly, and some food. Crowley had suggested they hire a minder, but the angel was almost certain he was joking. At least, he hoped so.

“Oh, got an email from book girl this morning. They would like us to make a visit. I haven’t answered yet. Thought I would talk to you first, but...” He looked at Gabriel.

“That’s a splendid idea,” Aziraphale exclaimed. “It will be a chance for us to see how everyone is getting along. We can take Gabriel with us. It will give him a chance to experience other humans without...well, awkwardness. Or at least the awkwardness of...”

“Yes, because what could possibly be _less_ awkward than a former angel spending the afternoon with a witch, a witchfinder, assorted children and the more or less former antichrist,” Crowley said sarcastically. But he wasn’t completely disagreeing. Besides, the possibilities for mischief appealed to his perverse sense of humour. Who knew, maybe Gabriel would learn something.

“You want me to...”

“I’ll explain it all later, now, what would you like for breakfast?” Aziraphale said, changing the subject. Crowley sank back into his chair and returned his attention to his coffee.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this has taken so long. It’s been a bit crazy here, and put me slightly off my game, but with luck I am back on a more regular track (we will see). Hope you are still reading and enjoying.

**Author's Note:**

> This has been sitting around and I finally decided to put it up. Comments always appreciated. As always, beta by my sister Birdy.


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